I saw my friend Tina the other day. She seems to have to found some peace around food and her body AND her life. Because of course, it’s not about the food. The food is used to anesthetize the pain and fear that lie beneath. Still, it’s only a band aid and the pain’s still there, so we need to face those things that lead us to overeat. Or we keep eating, drinking, smoking, gambling…)
Tina seems to be doing this. She says she’s ‘good’ with her body and the way she is eating.
And yet, she has put on a lot of weight and my once svelte friend says she has trouble breathing when she walks and her knees hurt.
Me being me, I can’t help but wonder how she’s ‘really’ doing if she is eating to that point. I’ve always assumed that if I am really in tune with hunger and with simply nourishing my body, I may not be super thin, but I won’t get to a place where movement is uncomfortable or actually hurts.
If I have to be perfectly honest, and this doesn’t sound nice, it did occur to me that Tina can’t truly be eating to a place where she is feeding her body as is wants to be fed. Does her body want to be that big? Is she truly listening to nature’s signals?
But that’s not mine to know and frankly, none of my business. Tina’s body is not mine. I don’t live it in or make choices for it. And I can not judge.
Heck, she may look at me and think I’m too thin. But somehow, I doubt that. And yet, that’s just one more presumption.
I find I can be pretty presumptuous. One more thing to work on!