In this space, I often write about topics AND my reactions to them that make me uncomfortable. The following encounter (and my reaction) isn’t comfortable at all, and I waited a few days to write about it. But here it is:
The other night, my friend and I had dinner at the bar of a local restaurant. Sitting next to us, was a friendly couple, and we four started to chat.
The wife, who announced she’d already had a few drinks, was particularly talkative. Her husband sat drinking soda. She mentioned that she was drinking tequila because she had a stressful job but that he her husband, really didn’t drink.
Before long, I knew all about them – how long they’d been married (26 years), how many children they had (twin boys – I saw pictures) and what each son did for a living and for fun.
Somewhere in there, she said, ‘I used to be skinny, you know’.
And there it was.
I confess, the uncomfortable stuff, that it had gone through my head that she was pretty heavy and puffy and he looked trim and healthy and young. And yes, I confess, I’d wondered how each felt about that.
She: “I used to be skinny and go to the gym for two hours a day. But after I had the twins, I didn’t have time. And now, I don’t have the discipline.”
She: “He looks exactly like he did when we got married. He can still fit into his tuxedo.”
He: “Yup. Still can.”
She: “I used to look just like Jennifer Lopez. Seriously.”
I looked over at him. If I’m not mistaken (and maybe I’m making it up), he looked a little wistful and then nodded his head (sadly?).
He: “Yeah, yeah, she did.”
Am I reading something into this that comes from my own issues? Am I wrong to worry about her being out of shape and him still looking hot?
Does he wish she’d eat and drink less and lose weight and look more like the woman he’d married? Does his eye wander — yes, yes, yes, I’m really embarrassed to write this, but it went through my head!!!
Am I so jaded by society that all I can think is that this man is completely materialistic and just cares how his wife of a quarter century looks?
Any thoughts on the topic?