I write a lot about society’s pressures on women to look ‘good’ and young and thin and pretty, and for me, particularly when dating. Shall I mention for the zillionth time the guy who told me I’d have a nice body after a half dozen abs classes?
I get annoyed that a lot of guys seem to be looking for younger women. And it sure gets tiring trying to always look ‘date ready’. I envy my married girlfriends who’ve gone gray, never wear make-up, have gained a few pounds AND don’t care if their teeth aren’t sparkling white, their nails are a little chipped, and in strong light, they look their age.
BUT, BUT, BUT, I have to confess when I am completely honest – I’m actually not much better than the guys.
Especially with online dating where a lot of it is based on pictures. If I meet someone at a party, I have a chance to really be attracted to their personality and charm. But online, there’s no way to really gauge all that. Some profiles are clearly prohibitive and some are very inviting, but let’s face it, I AM looking at the pictures.
AND, the men I pick are physically cute to me. And what is that? Well, given my druthers, they’re taller than I am (although I have dated shorter men whom I’ve met offline), they’re not too much older (although I’ve dated much older men who I’ve met offline) and they look appealing in a very and purely physical sense.
And guess what, given my druthers and picking from pictures, they’re all pretty thin. Hmmm.
Of course, I only continue to date them (if they’re interested in me) if they are kind and interesting and good.
But all 4 guys I have dated have been pretty lean and one even borderline skinny (the guy who had zero interest in food). What does that say about me?