That Old Obsession

I have a mind obsessed with…relief from pain or discomfort of any sort. So, back in the day, I turned to substance, alcohol and of course, food, the great aneasthetizer.

But my crazy mind didn’t stop there – there’s pretty much nothing I can’t obsess about if … need be.

Like men. Do you all remember the movie, Fatal Attraction – when Glenn Close boils the family bunny for revenge when the guy ignores/dumps her? I’ve always worried I’d become a bunny boiler, so much does stalking run through my blood.

I’ve driven by men’s houses, had other friends call them to see if they answer, had other friends drive by their houses. And always, always, I’ve thought the worst. They’re with another woman, they don’t like me anymore, I said/did something wrong and I’ll never here from them and on and on and on….

If a guy doesn’t return a text quickly, that’s it, he’s definetly done with me and, of course, he’s with another woman. If he doesn’t call or text me first, I can’t stand it and reach out to him. Sometimes incessantly. I insist that he tell me how he’s feeling about me, about us, about relationships, about marriage — all on the the first date .

Long and short of it, I probably drive most men crazy. Hmmmmm, why on earth am I single at 54?

So, here I am, beginning to date a man I really like. Already, I’d started stalking him online to see if he were viewing other women on the dating site we met on. That didn’t go well, because he then thought I was viewing other men, and we both got upset.

Happily, I acted like an adult and brought it up to him; and BLESSEDLY, he was cool and we worked it out.

I think it’s time for me to get over my stalking, my obsession – my insecurity. AND it’s time for me to have a man who makes me feel safe!

And, as always, to live life, it’s self; to contribute; to show up; to be kind, patient, tolerant and loving – and, to stay away from bunnies!

More on Dating and Food

So, I have gone out twice with a guy who’s not into food – clearly he just eats to live. He only feels like eating when he’s hungry, doesn’t really eat a lot and doesn’t care much about what he’s eating. Not adventurous, not a foodie – not interested.

And he couldn’t care less what I eat. He doesn’t really notice – he seems to just want me to be happy with whatever I’m doing.

Joy. Pure and friggin’ utter joy. Love this.

The last guy I dated loved food and tried ceaselessly to feed me. And feed me. And feed me.

The guy before was an athlete who burned up copious calories and needed to eat constantly. And eat. He couldn’t believe how ‘little’ I ate. Oh yeah, and he was dessert obsessed. Obsessed.

The guy before that lived to cook. He’d show up at my apartment with enough containers to feed the Duggars. And it’s only me. (And Rebecca, my cat of course. He’d bring her fresh shrimp and lobster! But I don’t even really want her eating all that.)

The new guy doesn’t even like dessert – although he assured me that if I ever baked something, he’d promise to eat. so that’s not going to happen. lol

So, even if it doesn’t work with the fabulously un-gourmet/gourmand new guy, I think I will add this to my list of pre-requisites;

kind, funny, positive attitude and…. please make sure you can just take or leave food.

Wonder how many responses I’ll get?!!!! 🙂 Perhaps we’re getting an inkling why I’m still single?