A few posts ago, I wrote about my friend, Tina, who has switched from a 12 Step strict abstinent food plan to intuitive eating. Through this new process, she has steadily gained. weight. Over the past year, I’d say she’s gained 30 or so pounds.
Tina once weighed about 300 pounds and then lost at least half that weight through the 12 Steps and a ‘clean’ eating plan. To me (on the outside), she looked radiant and happy with her life and with the process.
Tina says it’s not an easy switch fo rher, but she’s focusing on loving life and loving herself, at any weight.
In her words;
“There is and has been so much judgment around weight, food, body image, and looks that becoming a more fully conscious woman is like paddling upstream every day, while at the same time fighting old, bad habits – both mentally and physically – and concepts around eating. Conversely, focusing on a physical outcome brought about by outside answers, generic food plans and monitors, in my experience delivered the physical outcome without the deepest level of healing – between me, my body and my ideal.”
I admire her great courage and sure see her point. So often, I see myself as a big woman in a smaller body. Who would I be if I let myself be bigger AND okay, no matter the judgment around weight, food, body image and looks? So often, I ask myself that question.
And yet, I am very happy with the way I eat. In my experience, when I ‘let go’ and eat more freely, I become consumed with food and block out the rest of existence. I eat healthily, I am never particularly hungry and I AM very healthy. I also really like the way my body feels right now.
For now, I’m sticking with this.
Will I ever put this chapter of my being to bed? Who knows. The questions still interest me. And I don’t have all the answers.