Dating and Body Image and finally, Self-Esteem

This dating is exhausting – and not just sorting through strangers. What about the meeting them? All the work that goes into pulling a 54 year old together to meet a new guy…

I really hope I find someone and relax. Putting your best face forward can wear a gal out. Applying make-up well (not too much but enough to be flattering); blowing out hair (I promise you – men prefer straight hair. Don’t even try to argue with me); picking the right clothes (not too sexy, but still appealing)and right shoes (I’m lost here – I never wear heels, so this one is tough – flattering AND flat)

And yeah, what about the body? I’m not athletic, so don’t have muscle. (Remember the last guy who told me I was a few short abs classes away from a great body?) That didn’t exactly calm my worries.

It’s weird to be still dating at 54. The boobs sag even further, the abs flab, the face is wrinkled. I don’t mind my face and body on a daily basis, but when putting it out there…

So yeah again, what about the body and my food/body stuff. Certainly, I’ve clamped down on food since starting at the restaurant. I just can’t be as free as I wanted to be – nibbling and snacking are the luxury of naturally normal eaters. No one who knows me would say that that’s me!

But yes, I have been pretty strict with myself, not wanting to get lumps and bumps before meeting new guys. And, I want to fit into particular clothes that are ‘date’ appropriate.

BUT, the truth is, tho, that all of the above is just who I am. For my ninth birthday, I wanted hot rollers and make-up and nothing’s changed since then. In high school, the welts on my neck really WERE from the curling iron, not hickeys.

As a kid, I poured over every fashion magazine looking for new options in hair and make-up and clothes. It’s just me, dating or not.

And I, Melissa, prefer my hair straight. So, I wouldn’t go on a first date with it natural and frizzy. But I wouldn’t visit a women’s college like that either!

Re; the body. Who am I kidding? I am most comfortable with it at it’s current weight, and I’d feel the same way around a guy or my grandmother.

The real hard part about dating, of course, is does he like me and my soul? It’s way easier to worry about mascara than if I, myself, am lovable.


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