The truth is – I don’t really know if there is a guaranteed way to raise a healthy daughter – a girl without food or body issues.
Early on, I decided I wouldn’t have children. First, as a kid, I was pretty bullied and extremely lonely and miserable, at home and at school. I couldn’t bear for my child to go through what I did. And second, I really, really worried that I would have no idea how to feed my kids and encourage them to have strong and healthy body images.
Would my experience have been different if my own mother didn’t so long to be thin? I don’t know. Yes, mom and I did every diet together and she was ALWAYS way more successful than I. But I think her success came from her not being the food addict I was. When I ate one piece of bread, I craved the whole loaf. And then wanted a few more.
I definitely had an abnormal reaction to food – I always wanted more, more, more. And I couldn’t get food off my brain. My mom loved music and art and adventure and socializing. I just wanted to eat.
Would I have been better off with a happier home life? I don’t know. In OA, I run across lots of women who say they had terrific parents and very nice upbringings, but still found themselves binge eating constantly.
Yesterday, I met recovering mother-daughter anorexics. Would the daughter have been healthier if the mother hadn’t been sick? Again, I just don’t know.
It’s a hard world we live in, where there’s such focus on delicious food. When I lived in New York City, every other storefront was a restaurant or bakery or gourmet supermarket. AND yet, there’s such a focus on eating all that food and still being fit and thin. Not easy.
My own grandmother hated fat people and like her daughter, my mother, longed to be thin. And yet, grandma cooked and baked and served round the clock. Food, food, food. Thin. Thin. Thin.
I have more to say on this topic, but now I have to leave for work – at the restaurant! 🙂
More later, but in the meantime, if anyone has any input, I would really appreciate it. Thank! Love, M