Why Aren’t You Eating?

Working at a restaurant and eating my own way has it’s (albeit small) challenges.

First, we are rewarded with food – it’s kind of like a bonus (and is very generous, of course.) After each shift, we are entitled to a free meal from a limited menu which mostly includes foods I don’t eat a heck of lot of – mac and cheese, grilled cheese, wings, cheeseburgers, fries.

The ‘normal’ workers love this perk and get together excitedly to put in their orders. Each night, they look at me quizzically – why on earth don’t I want a free meal? (Fair question.)

A second challenge for me, if it’s still busy in the restaurant, the staff eats their meals on the fly, standing up and between taking tables.

I can’t eat like that and stay sane. (If you are a normal person, I’m sure you think my ‘rules’ are bizarre and annoying and not sane at all.)

I’m an addict of all kinds, and I have a mind obsessed with the relief I get from things like food (and alochol, etc.) If not careful, I will begin to see food as comfort and a reward, not sustenance, and I will start heading for trouble.

If I begin eating stuff out of the norm for me, I’ll (sooner or later) start getting obsessed with food and eating and when’s my next meal……..and I will be able to think of nothing else. Food will become something other than nourishment.

Staying within my boundaries allows me the freedom to live a full life, with ‘free’ being the important word here. Food once owned me. It doesn’t now. But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t again. I’ll always be an addict.

So when I’m asked if I want the free dessert, I still say no.

There is, however, another question I am asked over and over and over at the restaurant – how do I stay so enviably thin.

The answer, I honor my truth.

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