Today was a day when there was no time to eat. Not a minute. Forget peeing.. But that always came second to food.
At around 3;30 pm, I realized I had a terrible headache. Why? Did I have sinus problems? Was I squinting at the computer too long? Were my tooth still sore from yesterday’s dentist’s visit?
Nope. I hadn’t eaten anything all day. And I hadn’t noticed. I’d been just too busy.
But when I did realize I needed to eat, I remembered that my food was still in the conference room where the big bosses were having a meeting with clients. I wasn’t getting in there!
Finally, I found a hard boiled egg I’d left in the refrigerator and ate that. It wasn’t scintillating, but it was fine.
There was a time in my life where minutes couldn’t pass without thoughts of food and eating. And if there wasn’t food readily available, panic mode set in. WHERE WAS I GETTING MY NEXT MEAL? HOW COULD I SURVIVE?
Today, I really didn’t know where or when exactly i was getting my next meal, and it was fine. People all over the world live chronically hungry and without any idea at all when the next nourishment is coming.
I can get through a few hours.
It will never stop being weird to me that this is how I think and live now. How does that happen? For someone like me, who dropped out of college 5 times because she COULD NOT STOP EATING?!!!!
Miracles happen. And I truly believe that if they can happen for this lifelong compulsive eater, bulimic and anorexic, they can happen for anyone everyone.