Today, I realized I’ve been seething about something, wallowing in deep resentment. Now, I pride myself (oops, there’s that dangerous word ‘pride’) on being pretty clean of resentments. I acknowledge them when they come up, look at them closely, see my part in the problem and let go. Usually that means that I have to change my thinking about the situation and so I do, and I am free of the anger.
However, this one thing had been eating away at me. And I realized that not only was I seething, but I’d been pretty mad about this for quite a while. AND, I find, I’ve been itching for an opportunity to complain about it bitterly. Finally, I saw that I didn’t really want to let go of it – if I did, I’d have to face the truth of the situation. And I’d have to realize the situation wasn’t going to change – I was going to have to accept that and change myself, my actions and my reactions.
So, I had two options. I could continue to seethe and be miserable and make everyone around me miserable too. Or I could face the truth, change and be free.
I chose the later, thankfully, and I let go of the resentment. Once I let go of that one issue, everything seemed to lighten up. The whole world seems less difficult. Everything’s rolling off me, left and right. My step has a little spring again. I feel so much better.
Why did I wait so long?