Anorexia is a lie I tell myself that I can control my eating. I have not yet met the anorexic who doesn’t think about food ALL the time – every waking moment AND in her dreams. Food controls the restrictive eater.
Bulimia is the lie that if I throw it up, somehow I didn’t eat it – that I can eat without gaining weight, without consequences.
Compulsive eating – the lie that food solves my problems – heals my sadness, loneliness, boredom and pain. Instead, I end up so much more miserable, of course, after the eating episode.
Weight obsession is the lie that if only I am thin, I will find happiness, true love, fulfilling friendships, a fascinating career… And if thin is good, skinny is better! For me, I was never more miserable than when I was skinny. I could think of nothing but food; I was exhausted, isolated, angry and terrified – was this misery really my life?
My mind sure tells me a ton of crap (lies), so I can’t rely on it to guide my eating. Once I am ready and willing to learn (and accept) this truth, I can begin my path to recovery.