Body Calm

It’s been wildly busy this past week. I’ve had almost no downtime. I happen to THRIVE on downtime. And I don’t do as well, at all, when it’s just go, go, go.

In years past, back when I was starving, or bineging and purging, or a combination of both, I tried to exercise steely control over my weight at all times. Generally, I stayed in the same range no matter what was happening in life. During certain years, I’d barely waver an ounce – I was so rigorous and disciplined and vigilant. (Oh, and miserable.)

But lately, my body has gone back to it’s initial stance. Left to it’s own devices, when I’m too busy to breathe and running on far less than enough sleep, my body gains weight. And so, I have.

And so, it goes. My relationship with food hasn’t changed – it’s just fine. But I’m awake more hours and my body is telling me I need fuel. And I’m probably less aware of what’s going in my mouth throughout the day, but – oh well.

For me, this is perfectly normal. When I’m too busy and too tired, I tend to gain weight.(When I’m rested and have time to read and chill, the weight tends to come off.) Like I said – oh well. End of story.

By early next week, things will calm down, and life will be back to normal.

But as I re-read this post, I have to ask – who wrote this? Not the food and weight obsessed woman I used to be. That’s for sure.

If this freedom is possible for crazy me, it’s possible for all.

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